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I am extraordinarily conflicted, but it's complicated. I don't quite know what to do or what to say or how to do anything other than chew at myself. I know it's got to come from the inside out but it's the outside that I want to hack away at. Damn process.

The worst thing is I can't talk about it. This isn't a cry for help, this is a genuine puzzlement. Maybe it would seem less like a cry for help if I outlined some details, but I don't have the strength at this time of night. In all honesty, I'm only awake because Mike's birthday is in 6 minutes.

I'll work it all out in the morning. I'll put down the fork and pick up the knife and carve out an existence for myself and it won't be perfect but it'll be mine, and that has to be good enough.

Golf-Ball is an Exaggeration.

workworkworkworkwork.

I'm having a great time at NEYT! First week flew by and, as I approach week two, I'm trying desperately to catch up with myself. For instance, Nick and I went to Ithaca last week and I didn't even say a word!

One of these days, I'll blog from work. It'll be epic (or something like that).  For now, I'm going to watch Family Guy.

7 Things (x3) or, My Life in Lists

Things I'd Rather Be Doing:

- Working on my play

- Constructing a truly brilliant mix that may or may not involve biddies

- Sitting on the porch of the Bungalow

- Getting made fun of at the Roach house

- Rolling around in a driveway with Nickolette

- Watching Law & Order and Family Guy marathons

- Having a beer with my wife when she gets home from rehearsal.

Things I Need To Be Doing:

- Figuring out whether I want to BE the girl from the Cake song "Short Skirt, Long Jacket," or whether I want to DATE the girl from said song

- Getting my ducks in a row for my senior directing project

- Getting my paperwork together and printed

- Figuring out how to be more productive at work

- Learning recess-type games

- Getting over my fear of recess-type games

- Getting over myself

Things I'm Actually Doing:

- Giggling at Nick on a more than regular basis

- Eating amazing strawberries and drinking chamomile tea

- Finally finding the time to update my blog

- Letting the iTunes Genius inspire and amuse me

- Grinning like an idiot 95% of the time

- Getting judged by the Walgreens check-out girl

- Driving with the windows down on a clear night in Vermont

All things considered, everything's pretty freakin' great right now.

I vlogged about the Tony's last night. I went to bed as it was uploading to youtube. I woke up this morning to 46 views.

The internet is one powerful motherfucker.

Warning: This will not brighten your day.

Please read the following article. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-rowe/krxq-sacramento-radio-hos_b_210637.html

Now, I'm not one for a letter campaign, but I highly recommend writing to the radio station. This is just too disgusting to ignore. Their address is as follows.

KRXQ 98.5 FM 5345 Madison Avenue Sacramento, California 95841

I'd also recommend forwarding this article along. Just a suggestion.

On a happier note . . . woo New Hampshire! We are one state away from a gay-marriage-friendly New England. It's about time.

VLOG?!

I finally did it. I joined the youtube community.

My first vlog isn't quite typical. It's a recap of my weekend. I think I'll do a more traditional "Oh hai youtube" video later. But for now, my shenanigans are documented all over the webz. Username is somewaywardtraveler.

I promise this isn't Livejournal.

I'm really bad at this.

I think I'm in a flux phase and showing little patience. I'd say this doesn't bode well, but it's only temporary. I know that with the next shift I'll snap out of it.

I feel like I'm back in 8th grade, writing cryptic blog posts. They aren't meant to be cryptic. I just feel stuck. I know I'll stop feeling stuck soon, I just don't have the patience for time to fix this. Le grand sigh.

I'm (briefly) road tripping tomorrow. Documentation is a must. Along with good jams.