The Seven Circles of Laundry Hell.

First Circle: Spontaneously Popping Knobs.
The knob on our washer/dryer that controls the wash cycles and settings will periodically shoot out of the wall to reveal scary springs and much frustration.

Second Circle: Settings That Make No Sense.
Temperature settings (Celsius or Fahrenheit), wash cycles (do I really need that extra fast spin? Do I have a choice?), dryer settings (but I don't have delicates!) and the door that never unlocks. Our washer/dryer is toying with our sub-par intelligence.

Third Circle: Washer Tubs That Won't Drain.
Even when the safety lock disengages, signaling the end of the wash cycle, sometimes water pours forth to mock me. I have to fight it with a bucket. I usually lose.

Fourth Circle: Dryers That Toy With Your Emotions.
My dryer likes to tease me. No matter how much time I dry something, everything is always awkwardly warm and moist. It's not OK.

Fifth Circle: Lack of Dry Hanging Space.
Because the dryer is a tease, we hang our laundry. And even with a rack and a lovely shower laundry line contraption, there is never enough room. Ever.

Sixth Circle: The Never Ending Hamper.
No matter how much laundry I do, my hamper is always full. It's been full since the day I moved in. I've done at least a dozen loads of laundry. What the fuck.

Seventh Circle: The Unknown.
It might be where the socks go. And no, it's not Narnia. All I know is, I don't want to get here.