Negative Nancy.

Things I'm Not OK With . . .

- the fact that I drove you two together.
- the prospect of not going back.
- the prospect of not seeing you again.
- the fact that I'm so fucking far away.
- the fact that doctor's always pick the worst fucking time to go on vacation.
- the fact that the only place I can find "Lower My Gun" by Jay Brannan is on YouTube.
- that you're not here.
- that I'm not there.
- that I'm awkward.
- that YouTube cut out the last 4 minutes of dialogue of the movie I was just watching.
- that Netflix instant view doesn't work outside of the US.
- the way I often go unnoticed.
- the way you called me a given.
- that I haven't purchased any non-alcoholic beverages while in this country.
- the fact that I can't fulfill my cat lady destiny because I am allergic to cats.
- that this knot won't get out of my chest.
- that I have to sleep in this big bed all by myself.
- the fact that I ONLY see people during Interrelationships.
- that you moved away before I got a chance.
- that I never take a chance.
- that I didn't email you sooner.
- who I am as anything other than a human being (wrap your head around that one, why dontcha).
- that I'm in this fucking funk.
- that my Polaroids are falling down and I can't find the Sellotape.
- that I have yet to start my art history paper.
- that I have no whiskey.
- being moody.
- everything.
- nothing.
- regrets.
- the fact that it's 2 AM and I'm tired and bitter for next to no reason and instead of sleeping I'm updating my blog.
- the fact that I'll obsess over this post after I've gone to sleep and will consider deleting it in the morning.
- how much I have to censor myself on this blog.
- being negative.

Dear Lord, please let this angst-y, reminiscent-of-age-15 phase pass. It's crampin' my style.

Can't someone just fix me so we can get on with it?